After three years living in a white foster home, my brother and I were placed in a black foster home. Placing me in a positive black neighborhood back in my Rappahannock safe haven was supposed to alleviate my problems. However, no one anticipated the quiet storm within forming into a three-year whirlwind of destructive emotions.
Adapting to black culture was a positive outcome in several ways, but the one thing aligning me with people of my same skin color couldn’t contain was the anger waiting for one negative moment to ignite it. In chapter four, you’ll get into the chaotic mind of a deeply troubled child. If there was any time that society should have given up on me, it was during this interval of my life. However, my foster mother, friends (the few I had left) and the larger community would instead, lift me up.
Black Foster was by far the most difficult chapter to write. Several negative instances occurred that I can chalk up to hard life lessons, but the real challenge was articulating what was going on in my head during that time. Revisiting that period of my life required reopening old wounds most adults at this point in my life would tell me to “just get over it.” However, the events that happen to us during our formative years ultimately end up molding who we become as adults. We make most of our judgments based on our life experiences and continue our lifecycle based on those events.
Thankfully, I was able to transcend most of those incidents and overcome the negative events that could have easily come to define me. Whether it was by a stroke of luck or the grace of God, I’ve always struggled to make sense of it all. What was the purpose of that struggle? Why did I make it and so many others didn’t overcome the circumstances? Black Foster begins to mend the broken child led astray by believing he could fight his way through the confines of his surroundings only to realize the very people he was trying to push away were trying to embrace him the entire time.
The Broken Child Mended Man e-book is available at several online booksellers:
http://www.adamstarksonline.squarespace.com/order-book/
2 Responses
Adam I can’t wait to order the book and delve more into your experiences. Our son is of mixed race, I had always envisioned it being "no big deal" because we are all God’s children and our family in particular is very "mixed". He has learned about my Native American roots, my husband’s Cuban roots, my dad’s African American and Jewish culture etc (of course my mom’s Native Alaskan culture). So, I look forward to continuing to read what impact different foster families did for your experience growing up and how that impacted you.
Thanks for your comment. Your family is the essence of the melting pot our country continues to reflect more and more each day.
I think you’ll enjoy the book. I don’t paint myself as a victim, and I refrain from portraying myself as a model foster child. Foster parenting is difficult, but it can be very rewarding if the family can stick it out in the long run. Thanks for your dedication to that child. He’s one of the fortunate ones to find such a loving family.